The past year I have been bustin it to try to establish some sort of safety net and norm. Some sort of pattern to base the day to day events in my life. And really I have learned: I don't think there is one. I find myself quoting Mother Theresa every few weeks saying "God wouldn't give me more than I can handle." -"But sometimes I wish he he didn't give me so much." I spent my summer flying from one show/event to another and on days off trying to have some fun and blow off some steam. Now into fall and early winter I get to catch my breath and catch up with some projects. If anyone has followed my Facebook page they have been able to keep up from horse show to Zoo, to Wildlife walk to cat show to .... .... But it would have been nice to be able to get enough time to write in this blog. But things have been flying so fast that it seems like I come home and literally fall asleep trying to get in the door. Other days I'm just trying to focus enough to get from one topic to another. Lately I've been thinking that if I can manage to keep a personal journal (where I vent and rant and rave) on a more regular basis than I can keep this (where I am trying to be all polished and professional) then maybe I am trying too hard.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer. At some point I had nearly 4 or 5 notebooks tied together as a story. I remember it was about two little girls and one was dying, but it never really go very far and teachers who would like to pound proper grammer and sentence structure into my feable right (run on sentence) minded brain- killed my confidence and any want left to write. As an adult I haven't really had time to write although after buying a house a few a years ago I did get the writing bug again and started up another story. I even went and researched how to get it published, but sadly that's far harder than it looks, and rejection is far more common that rain in a monsoon when it comes to publishers. So somewhere around here I have 8 chapters to a manuscript that I haven't decided what length I want it. More recently I wrote out a small story (which was all true) about the life of a ferret named Odin Snow. The whole purpose was to tell the world how much devotion and love your pets have for you. How they will go to any length to make you happy. And sometimes their devotion even means across death itself. I did share it on a pet grieving site and it was shared with many others and some suggested I try to publish it. But because of it's odd length it would be undesirable.
Lately this blog has been on my mind and I find myself trying to think of things to put in it that are interesting, and relating to my life as an artist. Sadly without going on and on about photo shoots, or trips to zoos that leaves drawing and painting tutorials which I am already doing on You Tube (it's doing well but lets face it reading about how to draw is like reading about grass growing BORING. So this all is seeming to be rather redundant. People who want to keep up on the day to day follow my Facebook page, those that want to learn are watching me on You Tube and this stupid thing still sits here; not updated and stiff and stifling. I have been so worried about being my own publicist, agent, promoter, photographer, artist and web designer, that really I just didn't give myself any allowable room to just be me. And down the road maybe at some point without going through my many hard drives someone would like to just know ME. Not Artist me, Not Professional Photographer, Not Hi I'm Your Boss So we can't be friends, not the front that I seem to have to wear 24/7. I'm tired of doing public Polish. I'm not saying that I'm turning this page into a rant (although there may be one here and there.) but letting down my hair and just going off topic. Whatever the hell is on my mind..and for that matter not caring about my language! I've had the same 4 followers for 3 years and doubt unless I say something that flags with national security that that will change. So I'm opening this up for little things like: "WOW there's a spray that mattes the sheen on graphite drawings!" or big things: "The Bull Shit politics of a dog show Really?!" or some non "PC" Topics like :"OK some photographers are just douche bags!!" "What the hell is it with people in THIS town??! Are you serious??! Your hot boxing with a kid in the car??!"
So I'm sure the next entry with be the disclaimer as I'm sure I'm going to want it.
